Good Enough

I’m still incredibly angry with my computer or site or whatever is to blame for my troubles. I can’t paste pitures and I refuse to tell my “clean sweep” story without them. It just wouldn’t be the same.
What I can write about is a “Let’s Be Real” Monday for you since it will be Monday by the time you read this…

An Apology…to the people in my “Hot Yoga” class last Thursday…I’ll go ahead and own up to the fact that I had Mexican food for lunch…I’m sorry…

He came up to her, holding his boot in front of her face.

“Mom, there’s feathers and all kinds of stuff  in my boot.”

She grabbed the boot and looked closely, a little too  closely. She knew that smell, the smell of rotting bird flesh.

Without hesistation she flung the boot and it’s contents onto the lawn. The feathery clump of dead bird fell out.

She heard a peircing scream puncuate the air and realized it was coming from her own mouth.

This scared the babies more than the fallen crow. Her youngest threw his arms around her neck and kissed her. “Mama, mama?” He asked. Wanting to know she hadn’t truly lost it.

How did that bird meet it’s demise? And why was it in her eldest son’s boot?

Two theories, feel free to provide your own: a passing cat dropped it’s prize in a convenient hiding place?

Or did the sad little creature fly at top speeds into the window, and upon impact drop into the child’s boot?

You tell me.  

• I’d be a backup dancer~ I still try to shake my groove thing when no one is watching. Sometimes I get caught. Like the time I was attempting the Robot, in the kitchen. Husband walked in while I was doing that pose, you know the one where your elbow is cocked in the air and your forearm swings like its a loose hinge?  If you didn’t get all that, if ever we two should meet, I’ll demonstrate.  Well he walked in and caught me. I jumped, squeaked, and cover my face like he would just disappear if I didn’t see him.  He’s never let me live that day down.
• I’d be a photographer for National Geographic.  And I would write. I used to think I’d marry the writer, not that Husband can’t write but I’m a tad controlling.  I’d of course take his input and “use what I could.” He would just be there with me in the throws of the jungle, lest I was hit on by the pygmies, or something.
•  Maybe I would have a few more triathlons under my belt, maybe not. One in each state.
• Become an anthropologist, and study different tribes in Africa through living with them for years until they accepted me as one of their own. I’d write books about it. I’d be a specialist. Everyone would want me on their talk shows.
• perhaps I’d live on a sailboat, and moor at different places around the world.
•  maybe I’d try out for Reality Television
• maybe I’d be so popular on that show that I’d become some T.V. Host for an obscure cable channel.
• I’d join the Peace Corps

I used to think that if I was old, I couldn’t enjoy traveling.  I think maybe seeing my Grandma pull over at one too many rest stops put the fear in me.  But I felt such a panic to get out and do and see everything before gravity got a hold of me.

I’m realizing now that there are still time for those dreams in my future.  Who DOESN’T want to see a 50 year old back-up dancer at a Gwen Steffani concert?  And I’m really looking forward to traveling with the Husband. He’s never been past the North American continent. He’ll be a great traveling companion, and perhaps the pygmies will still try and hit on me in 20 years.

I am grateful for being out of the rat race. I worked for a great corporation in my twenties but I remember feeling a bit like a mouse on a wheel. (Hence the “rat race” Eve. Duh! and, does anyone say duh anymore?) But seriously, I wasn’t cut out for it. I knew I was just making money to spend it, then make it again. I had no drive to move up the chain. I didn’t want more stress or responsibility.

Although my worries now have the capacity to be the worst they could ever be, like the loss or sickness of a child or spouse, my joys have that same potential.  I wouldn’t understand how happy I could be, if I didn’t have my kidlets. I know I sound sentimental. And maybe one would think that my excitement over my toddler’s first exclamation of “mommy, I poopoos” is only because my day to day life has no other real thrill in it. That could possibly be true.

I like to think of it as I helped create this life and I’m taking this journey with them. I’m  learning to communicate for the first time, through them. I’m seeing the world through these fresh eyes. All three pairs of them. Suddenly that other stuff is comparatively not as exciting.

My 5 year old has never seen “The Ranch” before. We’re going there in 2 weeks. To him that is as thrilling as me travelling to the Great Wall of China. 

One might expect a conversation during with 3, five and under mindless drivel. But I get to hear comments like “If a human is friends with a rhinoceros, it might not turn out so well.” FRESH CONCEPTS! I’m tellin’ ya!

Spaghetti dinner, I’ve had it many times in my life. My children devour it like it’s sugar coated.  And really they’ve only had it a mere 260, 156 and 78 times in their life as oposed to my 1560. It’s also one of the few meals all three agree on and there is a certain satisfaction in nourishing another human life. 

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, out of all the things I’ve done, and all that I could be doing, my wisest choice was to marry a sweet man and raise some kids. I know in the end my joy will be full.  

They said it could never be done, they said it was IMPOSSIBLE!

But not only did I take care of a puking child, rotate two loads of laundry, put a few morsels of clothing away, clean the kitchen, make dinner for a friend with a fresh C-section, and maintain some means of sanity,  but I did the unthinkable…I cleaned the kitchen after dinner as well!

I know, I know! It really is incredible. So now I reward myself with NOT ONE, but TWO chocolate cupcakes, as I sit down to watch a show that always makes me smile.

But I will raise my glass of milk to you who couldn’t accomplish what I did today and say “Don’t give up, there’s always tomorrow.”

In the words of Micheal Scott…”I wish I had prepared something to say to you right now…May God guide you on your quest.”

“Smell my armpits?” She dares her son.

He sticks his face in and takes a good whiff.

“Ewww gross! I should have known better!” He says, coughing.

He’ll never fall for that one again.

Who gets pulled over for going 27 mph in a 25 mph zone?

I do!

Who has been driving around with an expired license?

I have!

Who almost got arrested and had their car impounded in front of the wee ones, with the five year old in the back seat asking mommy all types of questions like “Is he going to take your car away?” “Am I ever going to get to school?” “How come you’re in trouble?” and all sorts of other questions that leave a mommy guilt ridden?

If you guest me again you’re on a roll.

I can tell you why I put off renewing my license, well I didn’t notice it was about to expire till we already moved, and then I found out in Washington you have to retake the drive test! Who has time for that? Well obviously I thought “not me” and assumes I was above the law. Secretly I always enjoy fighting the man!

Side note, you’d think the first time I was pulled over and got away with a slap on the wrist would have been my wake-up call. I’m such a stubborn cuss.

So now on top of retaking the drive test I have to go to court and prove that I renewed my license.

Why do I do these things to myself?

I believe her name is Jane, but I can’t be 100% certain, as the only name I’ve ever seen is mamadoggylove.  I love her blogs and asked her for some questions…here they are…

1) You are one of six kids. Where do you fall in the order and what were your favorite/least favorite things about growing up with so many siblings?

     My mom and dad had seven children, the fourth, my little brother, passed away in infancy. I am number two, but the first girl. That naturally makes me the second mommy in the house. I LOVED having a large family.  I would love to have a large family but I don’t feel as capable to handle it mentally, and I often feel discouraged as to why my three are such a handful for me, and why can’t I be more like my mom?      

          What did I love most about having a large family? The games, the constant playmates, the imaginative ideas we had that just grew into these wonderful days of tee-pee making, and fort building.  Digging holes in the tall grass and covering them up so someone would fall in. Baseball. Water fights. Little sisters trusting me to chop off their hair, and then hiding the cut hair in the closet so Mom wouldn’t notice. Get togethers now where we remember fun stories. Knowing if I really need something I have quite a few people to call. 

        What was the downfall of having a big family? I really can’t say, from my perspective.  I had privacy, food, not the best clothes, but that builds character. Maybe I was lucky. The younger ones complain about things, like not enough attention and not being noticed.  I wonder, did I just not need more attention? My older brother was 1 year older, my younger brother was 1 year younger, we were always together, but I never felt the lack of attention. I don’t think they did either.  The three younger girls, we would lump them together and call them “the little girls.”  “Where’s my hat?”  “You left it in the little girls room.”  They all had this huge bonus room and the older three, we all had our own rooms. I don’t think they liked it. But still to this day, especially now that I’m the only girl with kids in my family, I  feel a little left out of “the little girls” and their relationship with eachother. 

      Is that too much? I really could talk about my family all day long.  

2) You mentioned that you love reality t.v. Which can you absolutely not live without and why? 

     I think I could live without them all and it would be better for me if they did not exist. Then I would have more time for the important stuff, like blogging. :)  I think if I had to name the one I couldn’t get enough of it was the whole Laguna Beach/The Hills.  I don’t know why. The girl drama is just too intriguing for me. I always want the nice girl to finish first and everyone to get what’s coming to them.

3) You and your husband met at a surf shop… you said it wasn’t love at first sight. How and when did you know he was The One?

   Oh Hubby, he’s so sweet. He is the nice guy. I guess what needs to be revealed is that I had a “previous marriage.”  I’ll wait for the gasps to die down. Yes everyone I had a previous marriage, to a High-school sweetheart, it turned out to be not so sweet, surprise, surprise. We were both very young.  So I left that relationship with the knowledge of what I DIDN’T want.  I didn’t want someone young,  and inexperienced. I wanted someone that could buy me a house right away, someone that was wise to the world, but very good at the same time.

Hubby looked like he was 19. He was always blushing, and a little nervous, and awkward. My roommate was always asking why I was dating him. I kept saying it was just for fun and soon I would have to break the poor boy’s heart. He told me he loved me after three weeks. I had to end in soon after that, I just knew it. And I tried to tell him I might never feel the same. He then did something very smart, he gave me permission to break his heart. He said he could handle whatever happened. After that I didn’t feel any pressure from him.  It was very easy to fall in love with him, he was different than all the other boys out there. He was genuine. There were no games between us, and we were engaged after two months of dating. Married after a total of 7 months. Never have I regretted it. I often wonder if he got more than he bargained for. But he loves me despite myself. It’s wonderful to feel this comfortable in a relationship. It will be 7 years this June.

4) What brought you and your family to Seattle from Southern California, and do you think you will live there for a long time?

      My husband was born and raised in Orange County, CA. He’s never lived anywhere else. Every-time we came up to Seattle to visit the family he joked about moving here. Then finally one Christmas he told me that sometimes he just felt stupid for living in California when he felt there was so much more for a middle-income family up here. He’s very brave and hard working, he took the leap and started his own Cabinetry bbusiness up here. He also bought a hard wood supply shop. So he has a lot on his plate. It was a tough decision, but even though I have always in my heart wanted to live in California for the rest of my life, I knew it was right. And I’m very proud of him.  I think we’ve made it through the roughest patch of the transition.  

5) We share a disdain for house cleaning. If there was ONE house chore that you never had to do ever again, what would it be and why?

     BATHROOM! It grosses me out.  I have to put on gloves and keep my head very far away form the grossness. Yes that is a word.  I think it will only get worse as my young grow into teenagers. (Although, by then they can clean it!)

So thanks Mama! And anyone who’s actually finished reading this very long winded post.  But I guess that’s what is so nice about having your very own blog. 

If anyone else wants an interview, I’ll come up with some questions for you.  Just let me know in the comment section.