Good Enough

I don’t talk about my friends much because I don’t want to make everyone jealous.

I have some really wonderful friends. Jenny is one of them. I don’t see her very often but she is a kindred spirit. She’s been hosting these writing prompts once a week and they always get me thinking.

So I’m finally participating.

This week was inspired by Back-to-school and what are we as moms doing for ourselves?

Well Jenny,

I’m writing again. Not much on the blog, but on the elusive novel. It puts the twinkle in my eye just thinking about it. I find my hands itching to come and visit what I’m writing, and add, and imagine. I’m having so much fun.

I’m also playing tennis with Mr.Good. I love having my body back, even though I’m a nursing mom it doesn’t suck the life out of me, like being pregnant did. I can also run up the stairs, and tie my shoes, and do laundry without becoming breathless. I am truly a happy person right now.

I envy the yoga Jenny is doing, and one of these Saturdays I will go back to my Yoga Garden, and my instructor, Sara, will ask “Eve, how are you feeling today?” and I will answer shyly “Fine.” and then she will ask “And what would you like to work on?” and I will answer “please…all I want is this saggy skin around my mid section to go away?” And she will then proceed to throw an intense work out at me and I will be all the happier for it.

I was talking to another kindred spirit today about our buckets. Sometimes as moms we let our buckets run dry, we take care of everyone else and forget about ourselves.  I think I finally learned after my third baby that it wasn’t healthy for my family or I to let myself go.

I once took a class where the teacher was talking about balance. We have three parts of ourselves that need to be nourished…our physical, spiritual, and emotional selves all need attention. I’ve noticed at times I need to pay more attention to one then the other, but if I totally neglect any part, I’m not as happy. I’ve been trying to balance those three lately, and even with a new child around I’ve found a certain peace.

Except when it’s time to make dinner. All the zen in the world cannot stop that time of day from becoming tumultuous.

You have to know my friend Sharie to understand passion. When that girl takes on a cause she really follows through…

So I stumble upon her latest movement…and I smile. She’s at it again and I hope it catches.

I have to say that I can’t take up a flag with you Sharie, I’m 10 months pregnant, and live in an extremely hilly and wet  region. Just walking up the stairs right now and my uterus screams at me.

When our farm is complete maybe we’ll get an old fashioned coach and two horses?

Or maybe I’ll start converting my vegetable oil into gasoline?

For now I applaud from afar!

So tonight my sweet friends are throwing me a shower…I have mixed feelings.

I love spending time with my friends, I love any reason to celebrate, and I believe that every child should have it’s own welcoming, in some way.

But contrary to my younger years, I do not like being the center of attention. I don’t like people feeling obligated that they need to buy me a present (especially with child #4) and it’s most embarrassing when I have to sit in front of everyone and open those presents.

This week my friends have been asking me what I need…I don’t know what to tell them. I do have needs for this baby, but not exactly the type of trinkets you expect to arrive at a baby shower. I’m horrible at telling people what I need.

Hence the beauty of the Internet. I can type away and pretend no one that is coming reads my blog and I can put this out there…and if you are coming, pretend you didn’t read this, and never mention it to me. It’s much funner to blog in anonymity.

I need my house deep cleaned and organized…(something I would never want people besides family to experience.)

I need a breast pump…(again not exactly something I want the group too purchase.)

I want my husband to finish the loft bed he’s building and I need to reorganize the kids rooms.

I want a rocking chair. One of those big, cushy, Pottery Barn style pick your fabric, fabulous rocking chairs…I’m embarrassed to admit it. It sounds so materialistic to me.

But it’s my FOURTH CHILD! Can I have something that will last? I envision many years to come cuddling on such a chair.

A girl can dream.

I realize I’m sounding SO ungrateful! My two bestest friends are putting themselves out to throw this party for me, which makes me feel even more inadequate. Really I’m looking forward to hanging out with everyone, and I’m honored they would take time out of busy summer scheduling to hang out with me, but I can’t help but be a little nervous for this.

Update: the shower was, of course, lovely. I feel so lucky to have so many loving friends close by. It wasn’t that awkward, and Kathrynmade sure I got the present thing over first which was good because then I wasn’t stressing the whole party.  My friend Kati made so much food (she said she was only cooking for one afternoon but it would have taken me at least 2 days to do what she did.)  I could go on about how fun and sweet and relaxed everyone was, but you knew it was going to be that way didn’t you? Anyway, thanks,  I’m touched and it was so much fun.

Last night I went out for some much needed ME time with the girls…

Have I mentioned how much I enjoy the local blogging scene? Every time I get together with the ladies from Seattle Mom Blogs I leave impressed. There are just so many fun, intelligent, entertaining moms in my area. I got to sit by Carrie, and across from Carrie, who are totally my peeps and so sweet and supportive. And Mona agreed to be in my future Dance Crew (it’s a whole THING, don’t worry I’ll fill you all in later.)

The group was small, I think there were eight of us from Seattle Mom Blogs that met at the cafe, but it’s nice to be able to talk to different people at each meeting. Thanks to Jenny for planning the shindig.

And thanks for having your husband tivo So You Think You Can Dance so that Kathryn and I could come over and scream like wee girls afterward.

And thanks for letting us stay after watching So You Think You Can Dance till 12:30 and talk about things that our husbands would be intrigued and embarrassed to hear. What’s talked about at Jenny’s house, stays at Jenny’s house…

When I started searching on-line for my little brother I was excited and optimistic…

It’s not that there aren’t any choices, there seem to be many cute girls out there, single, open to new relationships…

Maybe I’m missing something? I find a nice girl, she’s interested and then what? What is next? She could be from Ohio? How are they supposed to have a date when she lives in Ohio? And it’s not like I can make little bro began an e-mail relationship. Especially when he is definitely not as keen on finding Mrs.Right as I am. 

And then there is the dilema of all the girls that just aren’t my brother’s “type.” They keep sending him these flirts and messages and I’m the one that has to politely decline. It’s awkward folks! It makes me cling to Mr.Good just a little tighter and beg the heavens never take him away from me.

Personally, I would not want to have to resort to the Internet dating experience, it would scare the bologna out of me. There are just so many unknowns.

So, anyone have any successful stories of Internet hook-ups? How about horror stories?

I don’t see her tooting, but I know anyone that knows her would like to say Happy Birthday.

Thanks for keeping my life interesting out here in the boon-docks friend. I feel like we’ve been friends our whole lives, but it’s only been a year. Anyway. Happy Birthday!

My husband said said it right, after I relayed the story. “So you had Beattlemania?”

In so many words, Mr.Good. Only I think it’s SoYouThinkYouCanDancemania!

Thanks to an amazing birthday gift from my little sister. Check out the link because I write in full detail at Seattle Mom Blogs!

Mondays are rough…Mondays have the misfortune of landing on a day of the week where schedules have to be resumed, and lives have to be managed. I hate Mondays.

There are two ways to hate a Monday…the “Monday that comes after an amazing weekend, had a wonderful time and don’t want this happy bubble to burst type of loathing” Mondays. Or there is the “had a lonely, unproductive, house is trashed, start the week out with low spirits and tornado aftermath damage control” no good Monday.

If I’m playing Polyanna, as I often attempt to do, then at least I had the former. I had an amazing weekend. The only thing that would make it euphoric is if I had a cleaning team come through and do the dirty work I was to busy funning to do.

My house is trashed because I was having fun. That’s what I’ll tell any visitors or landlord’s that decide to stop by. 

Friday Mr.Good decided ( with my help) to take a long overdue day off to make up for all the three day weekends in which he left me home crying. In all seriousness, I know he didn’t want to go to work either, but leave it to me to take it personally. So Friday was his big three day weekend of the year. To celebrate, I left him home alone with the children for most of the day.

Don’t be a hater, I had plans people! Big big plans! I had last minute details to attend to, because that night was the first get together for our little with big potential blog site. Maybe you noticed it, or heard about it around town? I have to say, the women who blog on the site are amazing! Maybe it’s because I had more time to get to know them individually, but I had more fun here than any party BlogHer threw. I wanted to stay all night. I wanted to find some late night greasy diner and take these women with me. I did not want this night to end. I will say that my friend Kathryn cushioned the blow of arriving home by demonstrating her personal interpretation of The Young Ambassador’s. Very entertaining, and I wish you all could see it. Although I arrived home shortly after midnight, I was not able to sleep until 2am. And when I awoke the next morning I had this weird adrenaline buzz that lasted all day which made me say “Housework? What housework?” And forced my family out into the blinding sunlight which we hadn’t seen in weeks. We played all day. Then I went on a date with Mr. Good, Sunshine Girl, and her spouse. Sunday we spent at my parents and ate the three layer birthday cake I bought for myself. 

Do you see why today is such a disappointment? The sky’s are now covered with gray again, Mr.Good has gone back to work, the children’s moods mirror mine. We are all grumpy and I’m going through sugar withdrawals since I was practically pumping it intravenously last week. What can I say.

I hate Mondays.

I would have written yesterday but I just received a copy of this months book club book. Book club is today, so you see, yesterday I was committed to reading it in it’s entirety. Well worth it. I loved the book and it didn’t take me long. My house work didn’t even suffer! I’m looking forward to book club, I really love the women that come. But I swear, if I hear that someone was an English major when they’re trying to make a point I’m going TO BARF! Do you know what I mean? Do you have those 3 English Majors in your group? All very nice ladies, but CHILL OUT ABOUT IT tonight. I just can’t handle it with the dark mood that I’m in.

Yet another adventure for the domestically challenged…

Kathryn wrote about her challenges she is facing with over-scheduling and becoming a little too ambitious in the home- making category. I don’t disagree with her on what she said about doing too much…to know her is to understand the hurricane that is the Daring Young Mom. When she does something, she does it with gusto and passion. Please read the post and take note of the beautiful pictures.

I, on the other hand, rarely feel overwhelmed by my domesticity. I don’t like feeling over-worked and under-appreciated. Mr.Good rarely notices if the house is clean or dirty. This frees up my need to clean for anyone other than myself. I warn my friends that they take their chances when coming to my house. You just never know what you going to get.

Although I love to cook, I hate grocery shopping, and the money I spend on rare ingredients that go into a delicious meal. After my third child was born I didn’t know how I was going to get dinner on the table ever again. I found the answer here and my life has become monumentally easier, and dinners have remained tasty.

I don’t sew, or craft, and I’m very bad with yeast products…my garden consists of 3 ears of corn, one pumpkin, 2 cherry tomato plants, 3 cucumber plants (2 if you don’t count the one that died) and a few pots of strawberry plants. These all get tended to when I feel like being outside with my kids.

I’m not trying to bash on myself, my strength remains in my ability to have fun with my kids. That’s why I became a mom…all the rest of this homemaking stuff is something I do to make life a little more interesting. I really do look at each new experience as an adventure. If you’re a stay-at-home-mom you have to find joy in small things.

Take the canning experience…I don’t think the canning was necessarily cheaper than buying a box of canned peaches at Costco, but I enjoy helping out the local economy and I like to know where my food comes from.

I also wanted to can because I wanted to understand part of my heritage. My mother and grandmother and great grandmother all had to can. I have some jars that they used. It was exciting to me to learn how it was done. I could have never done it alone, so I tricked Kathryn into doing it with me. She was fabulous and even started a day ahead of time and in doing so made all the mistakes before I got there. And she let me mess up her kitchen!

When I have my dream farm (which will hopefully come to pass in the next 5 years) I don’t want to waste the food that I toil over. I have visions of neighbors and friends coming over to reap what we’ve made. Heaven knows I need a good reason to get outside in this dreary Northwest weather, and animals and plants just might make me get out of bed in the morning. Despite the frigid, wet air.

I liked canning. Next time I’ll start it earlier in the day, and in a mere six hours I’ll finish two boxes with time left over to relax and watch some movies. That’s not necessarily something Great Grandmother could enjoy!  So take it easy on yourself people! Don’t do something you don’t want to do, unless it involves changing diapers and feeding the family. These are two must-do’s you can’t get out of them. Everything else is negotiable.