Good Enough

Yes I’m still here. My husband has made it back safely, and we are SO happy to be a family again.

I miss my blogging time and will resume normal posting after we wrap up this vacation with a little 3 day camping trip.

Pictures will be posted, anecdotes will be written.  School will start. A schedule may resume  be constructed. I don’t want a repeat of last years Kindergarten fiasco.

So class, what did you do this summer? What was your favorite story of the summer? I realize we all can’t get away. But tell me you at least neglected your housework and ate take-out for a four day span?

My stomach is feeling extra squishy today.  I don’t think that travel was kind to me. Yet here I am not even three days left before We hightail it out for another adventure.

It seems like the whole world has had at least one road trip before my family heads out on ours. It feels like the whole world has complained about driving anywhere from 8 hours to 15. I guess in my crazy competitivness I have decided to go the distance no family dare travel with three young children.

That’s right! We are traveling not 8, not even 15, but 22 hours straight with few stops in a minivan with three young children.  I don’t even want…I just need. I need to head back to where the pavement is abundant, and the trees are sparse.  I’m craving some ocean air tinged with that lovely Southern California smog. I will sacrifice my sanity and sleep for 22 hours straight to be able to feel those UV rays shine abundantly on my skin.

I know I’ve mentioned TOO many times that I was born to be a Southern California girl. I’ve a pit in my stomach when I think of what the Washington winters hold for me this year. I’m scared. Last year left me crying, begging to go back to the land I love.

Western Washington is deceiving. It’s SO amazingly gorgeous in the summer and fall, one can almost forget what the winter may hold.

And why am I waiting till August to go? It seemed the most convenient. We had events, family in town, and then a wedding down there. I’m staying for four weeks. I have to make it worth that 22 hour drive.  When I get back there will be no down time before my 6 year old transitions into a full day of first grade. I’m a little frightened for him.

After August there is nothing but anxiety for me.

I have to get this together people. I have to do it right this year! Get me a generator for the next winter storms…get me a schedule where I’m not waking Buster up at the last minute for school. (Note to self…Buster had exactly 15 tardies last year. What does that say about me?)  I have to make sure he’s got clean clothes by morning and a lunch packed the night before.

Do I sound a bit frantic? I don’t even want to think about what’s coming my way after August…I need to enjoy this trip.
 

Last night if you peeked into my room on the 19th floor of the W in Chicago you may have noticed that I was there by myself, in front of the television, under the blankets with a chocolate bar on my lap.

If you came back in an hour and a half later you would have witnessed a tearful phone call, followed by another call that made me laugh. You may have pitied me, this sad little figure tucked away in her blankets whilst the busy city nightlife went on without her.

What you would need to understand is this night came after one with only 3 hours of sleep, and the night prior to that held only 5 hours of shut-eye…I was craving the solace of a good movie, which was allotted to me for $11.98 on pay per view. I was craving my children which I needed to shed a tear for in the solitude of my own room. I was enjoying my good cry, I was embracing the fact that I missed my family, and for the LOVE OF ALL THAT’S HOLY I was kind of exhausted from my networking efforts and just decided I had earned my hermit rights for the night.

My first phone call was of course to my beautiful family. They were all at a party. Buster asked me if I was on my way home, and when I replied that I would be home in two more sleeps he said he saw a car he wanted to play with and handed the phone to Missy. Missy told me she was at Carson’s party and well, bye mommy! Bubba could only exclaim “I’m bopping da balloons! I’m bopping da balloons!” My husband texts me pictures of the perfect job he did on Missy’s pigtails. He even put barrettes in the front. He also sent pictures of the Sesame Chicken he made over rice. Oh yeah, and tonight they’re building a bonfire in the back yard. They really would be fine if my plane took an unfortunate dive and crashed over the Midwest on the way home. (sniff sniff) 

My second phone call was to my long lost friend Shana, who’s known me since the beginning of time. I love and miss her but there is nothing like a phone call to an old friend to lift my spirits. I was laughing by the time it was through.

This is not to say that I spend the last three nights hidden away in my room.

I have roommates with whom I would love to start a commune with. The bloggers have been friendly and interesting and the conference has provided great food for my pie-hole. The classes have been informative and diverse. I was forced to ride on a 150 foot Ferris Wheel that moved at 2 miles an hour and at which I closed my eyes and screamed show tune songs the ENTIRE RIDE because I had to distract myself before having a panic attack. It was horrible and I seriously have sworn off all future Ferris Wheel rides. I don’t care who’s begging! Lake Michigan is more beautiful than I could imagine and tonight we danced on the beach and watched the sun set.

Tomorrow my yummy roomies and I shall tour Chicago by water, say our good-bye’s to new acquaintances, and get on the plane to head home.

I have loved this trip. It has filled up my well and given my a fresh slate to once again return to family matters. It’s helped me discover what I want to achieve as a blogger and what I will define as success for myself. I just want to write. I have to say I was put off by all the talk of numbers and search engine strategies, tales of stalkers and trolls…I think the theme of this blog for me should have been “mo blog, mo problems” that’s what I’ve noticed.

I love my little blog.

XOXO everyone. Be back in the Emerald City in no time.

What is Good Enough?

I feel like I stand for the women that leave dishes in the sink on most nights, that don’t vaccuum and dust every week, the women that don’t want to climb the corporate ladder, the women that are happy with where they’re at in life.

I’m not crafty or very organized…I’m not tech savy or an amazing chef. I definately know nothing about how to grow a business and I would never write about what happens in the confines of my closed and locked bedroom door between my husband and I.

What I am is someone that believes and strives for less guilt in my life. I believe as women our greatest downfall is self doubt, and it will never get us what we ultimately want to achieve.

I believe that we need to plan and live for the future, but as a mom of young children I have to constantly remind myself to live every day to the fullest and enjoy the NOW. I don’t want to hold my breath and hope life gets more enjoyable when my kidlets are older.

So for now Ladies and Gentlemen, when you come to my house you may find a dirty kitchen, the laundry may be piled on my bedroom floor, and hand-prints on my windows. Hopefully you will also find a family that loves each other, who love to be together and create adventures for ourselves, and a husband and children who know if mommy is happy, then that’s good enough.

I will always be able to say I made at least one really wise decision in my life.

I had this feeling about him, he wasn’t what I thought I wanted…but he was so much more. I’m sorry ladies. I wish I could duplicate him and hand him out one for each of you. I can honestly say he is the best dad I have ever known. He comes home after a tough day of running his own cabinetry business, which is hard physical work, and he never hesitates to take the kids and play. He loves his children so much…and it’s so easy to see. This is what’s sexy to me.

I need to mention that this Father’s Day is also our 7th Anniversary.  I definately don’t have the rumored “7 year itch” people sometimes talk about. I know what’s out there, I’ve seen it. I’m more than pleased with my selection in marriage, and sometimes I wonder why I deserve him.

Of course other times I remind him of why he deserves me!

Happy Everything Honey. Thanks for putting up with this rambuncious family.

Bubba had PNEUMONIA, which is sad yet liberating. I’m telling you, a mom knows when her child is sick. The Doctor looked surprised when he told me his diagnosis. Probably because Bubba was running around the room acting like a normal 20 month old.

I’m grateful for doctor’s and modern day medicine. But I’d REALLY be grateful if all three kids would stay healthy for our upcoming vacation at the RANCH! So cross your fingers for me.

Other thoughts on my brain today are that Rosie O’Donnell/Elizabeth Hasselback feud.  I can honestly say that I see both sides, but it just reaffirms my belief that I don’t like to discuss politics with friend, co-workers, anyone really. I couldn’t last on a show like that because I would take everything so personally. I have my beliefs, you have yours. I believe people are entitled to their opinion. I enjoy hearing both sides of the story. What I don’t like is an individual being made to fell stupid of ignorant for their opinion.  And you are certainly not going to change how I believe by making me feel that way.

I have had close friends who’s views have been on opposite ends of the spectrum. I’m happy to say we still remain friends, there are just things we don’t talk about. 

The older I get the more I enjoy my little comfort bubble. That scares me to admit. It makes me feel like I’m even older than my 30 years. But when I’m out with a group where I’m completely in the minority, especially when the subject of politics or religion comes up, I just don’t have the fire that I used to. I’m not as willing to throw myself under the train so to speak.

I know it’s because I’ve been sheltered for the last 8 years. I’ve become too comfortable making the same types of friends.  

It’s Memorial Day, my poor Husband is working, my kids are running wild. At least I have managed to feed them two meals thus far.  I knew the day started out poorly when I wanted to sleep till 11 am.

So maybe on Memorial Day I need to say something about people that have past and are dear to me.

To my little brother Derek, I hope some day I have the chance to get to know you. Maybe you were the one sibling in the family that wasn’t as stubborn as an ox. Maybe you would have brought a certain peace into our home of ruffians. I don’t know. But I hope someday I’ll find out.

To my Uncle Bill, you had a really cool collection of vinyl’s. I’m sure we would have jammed together.

Of course my grandparents and great-grandparents that I’ve had the privilege of knowing. Thanks for forging the way. It couldn’t have been easy. But in a way I envy those days. They sound simpler in so many ways. We have too many decisions to make in these times.

So that’s about it for today. There is no structure to be found in this post. But that’s okay. It is Monday afterall. Monday and I have never been friendly with one another.

Jane is featuring an old photo every Thursday. I love it. I think it’s hilarious, and of course all those fun memories make me smile!

I’m so impressed with us here, Bachelor Bro, in the background, front row is Sunshine Girl, Me, and Kiki (who also poses as Literary Geek) we wanted to play Indians because we got a tee-pee from my Aunt. We hung blankets all around the room that would create the proper ambiance. And in my hand you’ll notice I’m holding a hand made hatchet! Out of tinfoil! Those are also handmade bows out of twigs and yarn. Love this! I only hope my kids will grow up to play like this!

Pictured: All of my living siblings, taken about 15 years ago. Far left Bachelor Bro speak no evil, Sunshine girl see no evil, Kiki (Literary Geek) hear no evil, Weirdo Bro smell no evil, and lil’ Meg decided to go hear no evil as well. I happened to be taking the photo. As you can see, we have an odd sense of humor!

I love my family. (My Dad, and me, Mom, Sunshine Girl and Weirdo Bro)

I come from a wonderful mom. I’m glad she didn’t know what a handful we would be as she bore all seven of us. 

I know everyone thinks their mom is the best…and I’m sure they are. But my mom is the best for US. There is no one else who could handle such prideful, stubborn, emotional spirits. And I say that with love because I’m one of the worst when it comes to those qualities.

As I have mentioned, I’m the second of seven children.  I grew up secretly idolozing my mom. When someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I always replied “a mom.” Like, Duh! Doesn’t every girl want to be a mom? And I wanted to marry my Dad because he was the hansomest, funniest man I knew.

Mom made motherhood look very natural.  I knew we were a challenge, and sometimes she was frustrated, but we always felt that she was happy being our mom.

Mom loves Dad. Simple yet true. And he loves her.

Both my parents are the best examples of service and love. They love us unconditionally, they never give up on their kids, and they would give us all they had if we asked them.

Thanks Mom, for putting up with me.  Thanks for all the lectures in the den.  For the nights when you somehow knew I was sneaking out. For always packing my lunch through my senior year. Especially when I was a vegetarian who hated peanut butter and jelly and you would make those “cheese sandwhiches” for me. Cheese between two pieces of bread. That was what I liked.  Thanks for driving me to and from dance, 5 days a week, which took 2 hours a day, and supporting that habit.  Thanks for encouraging my love of drama, for feeding us all the musicals we could watch, for not letting us watch T.V. during the week, for moving out to the little town that as a teen I couldn’t wait to leave, but now find myself hoping my kids will get a piece of.  Thanks for being a good wife.  For late nights typing out my research papers at the last minute.  Thanks for taking care of yourself.  I still need to learn how to do that.

I know it’s cheesy, but you really are THE BEST for us. And you know no one else on this earth could have handled your children. They would have thrown the towel in long ago. I know I can speak for all my siblings when I say we love you.

xoxo~ your nerds

I smile.

I really do.

Things that make me smile?

When I ask my husband “will you do something for me?”

and he replies “I’d do anything for you.”

Mmmmhmmm…smiling

my gals…

totally smiling.

Costco sized shopping carts where all kids chill while I spend to my hearts content…

oh yeah, that makes me smile.

my private stash of never ending goodness…

just try to wipe this grin off my face!

I want to make a “shout out” to my little sis, who I convinced to start blogging. She’s going to be writing about the books she’s reading as an English Major over at the University of Queensland, in Australia. So check her out if you want to read what an English major or just reminisce about college days.