Good Enough

Yes it’s that time of year again.

I have a first grader. I’m a little depressed after my morning meeting with the teacher.

The upside is…the feelings of inadequacy I have about helping my son in school have spilled over into my achievements as a home-maker.  At least I have more control in this area. So this morning I’m going to clean my kitchen. I’m going to clean it till it shines. And then when Buster comes home we’ll sit down at the beautiful sparkling kitchen table and work on some homework.

That’s all I can do.

Have a good weekend ya’ll.

I sit here, eating bite sized Twix bars and fighting back tears. Sure, I jest of having a personal relationship with Buster’s teacher because I get a weekly phone call home…but it’s beginning to get old. I don’t want to have this kind of relationship with his teacher.

I feel completely helpless. It goes beyond embarassment too hear my child is pushing kids in line and talking back to the teacher. This is my first born. My test subject, if you will. I hurt because he is struggling in school. Academically he is fine. He is intelligent. He is learning to read. He is doing well on his spelling tests. I’d say after helping out in class that he is slightly above average for a boy his age, which is exactly where I would want him to be. But he is having a hard time paying attention, listening to directions the first time around, and he’s not being respectful to his teacher…These are things we work on at home. We work on respect…we work on it every day. He never follows my directions the first time around. Or the second. But how can I help him at school when he’s away and it’s even more crucial for him to get this right?

I feel like the respect issue, and keeping his hands to himself are clear cut problems that Mr.Good and I can easily address. What really has me worried is how to get him out of his own head…how can I help him daydream a little less, so that at the very least he can hear his teacher when she says it’s time to get ready to go?

I feel for his teacher, I realize she has 21 other students to help. I don’t want my child to be the problem student. I love Buster. I want him to do well and reach his potential.

I didn’t see this coming at such an early stage in his academic career.

Advice is welcome and sought after regarding this conundrum.

My stomach is feeling extra squishy today.  I don’t think that travel was kind to me. Yet here I am not even three days left before We hightail it out for another adventure.

It seems like the whole world has had at least one road trip before my family heads out on ours. It feels like the whole world has complained about driving anywhere from 8 hours to 15. I guess in my crazy competitivness I have decided to go the distance no family dare travel with three young children.

That’s right! We are traveling not 8, not even 15, but 22 hours straight with few stops in a minivan with three young children.  I don’t even want…I just need. I need to head back to where the pavement is abundant, and the trees are sparse.  I’m craving some ocean air tinged with that lovely Southern California smog. I will sacrifice my sanity and sleep for 22 hours straight to be able to feel those UV rays shine abundantly on my skin.

I know I’ve mentioned TOO many times that I was born to be a Southern California girl. I’ve a pit in my stomach when I think of what the Washington winters hold for me this year. I’m scared. Last year left me crying, begging to go back to the land I love.

Western Washington is deceiving. It’s SO amazingly gorgeous in the summer and fall, one can almost forget what the winter may hold.

And why am I waiting till August to go? It seemed the most convenient. We had events, family in town, and then a wedding down there. I’m staying for four weeks. I have to make it worth that 22 hour drive.  When I get back there will be no down time before my 6 year old transitions into a full day of first grade. I’m a little frightened for him.

After August there is nothing but anxiety for me.

I have to get this together people. I have to do it right this year! Get me a generator for the next winter storms…get me a schedule where I’m not waking Buster up at the last minute for school. (Note to self…Buster had exactly 15 tardies last year. What does that say about me?)  I have to make sure he’s got clean clothes by morning and a lunch packed the night before.

Do I sound a bit frantic? I don’t even want to think about what’s coming my way after August…I need to enjoy this trip.
 

Little tip, when hosting a book club at your house, try not to over hear a comment like…

“It was alright, but I’d never recommend it.”

Try not to invite any English Majors, (no offense Kathryn) as they will use said book club as a forum to trash said book and humiliate poor uneducated hostess.

Do,however, serve them terrific food, so at least they can’t diss on that…and invite some normal housemom’s without a whole lot going on so at least they appreciate the fact that the aforementioned book got them thinking! 

 When Buster woke up this morning I conducted and interrogation, in a loving, rational manner of course.  Buster is an interesting kid. He can tell you any line to any movie he’s seen once. I can’t listen to my rock music because he listens to the lyrics and asks me specifically what they mean. But if you ask the boy what he did at school today, right as he gets off the bus, he won’t remember anything!

So he really didn’t have a clue what I was talking about. What I’ve found works is if I fill in some blanks, some of the story will come out.

I know every mother says this but Buster has always been straight with me about his little scuffles. When he knocked a kid’s tooth out, he owned up to it.

When he threatened another at recess, that eventually was admitted as well. So I pried and pulled with this one but he proclaimed his innocence. Another little boy had tripped him, and when he was on the floor, the friend of the tripper jumped on him. All in good fun, Buster didn’t see why it was such a big deal, he didn’t even remember getting scolded. (Side note, this teacher is not known to be a disciplinarian so I’m sure she tried her best.) 

Of course I packed us all up in the car this morning and took him to school. 

 I had to mention these alleged allegations (kindly) and maybe that the boys should sit down and tell their sides. She was very sweet about it. I thanked her for the e-mail and mentioned I liked staying in the loop.

That was that!

So I get a very nice e-mail in my in-box today… 

Hi Mom of Buster,

Just following up about the wrestling incident…

I had a good talk with the boys at recess.  They each got to tell me
their side of the story.  We problem solved and Buster agreed to be
responsible and do the job/task that I ask him to do.  He did a great
job getting ready to go home today!

First name only of Miss So and So 

That’s much better. I hope his “responsible” behaviour lasts more than one day!

I appreciate all of your advice and comments!

Let me preface this by the title I see in my inbox…First I noticed his teacher’s name MISS SoandSo and then I see the title next to it…Buster Wrestling

Never a good sign, never. I must say my heart dropped a little because he also has some previous offenses. But I had to read on… 

Hi (mother of Buster),

Just a quick note about an incident that happened at the end of the
day…

While getting ready to go home and I was attending to a student in the
class, (Buster) and another student began to wrestle.  This is unacceptable
and (Buster) owes me his recess tomorrow.  I need (Buster) to be responsible for
himself and be able to do what he should be doing even if I am not
watching him every minute.  I talked briefly with him about this and
will talk more with him tomorrow.

Thank you,

(Miss SoandSo)

Can I blame it all on my little brother? He gave my son a punching bag with two sets of gloves for Christmas. Then he proceeded over the next two weeks to give him some lessons in fighting.

About two weeks after the winter break my husband received a call (because I couldn’t be reached) that Buster had knocked a kid’s tooth out on the bus! 

 I screamed. This was my baby. My gentle giant. Who is so incredible with his younger siblings. Then I text messaged my ENTIRE family. A crisis like this could not be kept silent. Of course my little brother, the cause of all this trouble text-ed back “Did the kid deserve it?”

Needless to say I loaded Buster up in the mini and headed straight over to the victim’s house for an apology. 

This boy thing is new to me. He is the first born, so after the first five seconds the two werethe best of friends and we had a play-date set up for the next week.

When asked what brought on the assault Buster’s reply was “He was annoying me so I karate chopped him.”

I should also note that the victim’s front tooth was ready to fall out, and he was actually happy that Buster took care of it for him. Although there was some blood involved, and I’m sure all the kindergartners went home and told their parents.

Next incident…yes there was also another one after this catastrophe. Apparently the game was “War” a favorite of the kindies, it is always between the boys and the girls. One engaging young boy decided to play on the girls team. Buster didn’t like this and threatened him.

The next day the boy again played on the girls side. Buster threw him down on the ground, and another boy came to the victim’s rescue.  

Fast forward to today…although this sounds like both parties were in agreement to wrestle WHAT IS UP WITH MY SON?!!

Is he doomed?

I involve him in other physical activities. What I really would like to do would be to put him in a martial arts class where the instructor puts the fear into them that they must never fight outside of class.

In the meantime, funds are low, and the local YMCA Basketball will have to do.

I try to reassure the other parents that we are a normal, peaceful home.

Oh dear.