Oct 1st, 2007
Do Spiders Have Ears?
Because when I saw a huge one over my shoulder this evening and screamed bloody murder it backed away quickly and was lost in the confines of “behind the couch.”
I should take you back to two months ago when I was vacationing in sunny Southern California, minding my own business when I received a call from Mr.Good.
“There’s been an interesting development around here.” He said.
“What do you mean?” I tried not to panic immediately, as it is in my nature to do so. But all the possibilities were running through my mind. This could be the landlord must have found out we had a dog and we’ve been evicted type of interesting development or another one of his employees stole from him type of development or he’s contracted a rare disease and we don’t have health insurance…type of interesting development. Whatever it was I would try to hold it together and be calm.
“We have spiders,” he continued. “I was sitting on the couch and a huge one came up behind me. I also caught one that looked similar in the garage. I caught it and Googled poisonous spiders of Washington and the Hobo spider came up. It’s as destructive as the Brown Recluse, and I think our house is full of them.”
“Spiders!” I thought. “Spiders! This is the disaster I was imagining?” Well I could handle spiders. I calmly told him bomb the house.
“That’s not suggested.” Mr.Good replied. “The bomb will kill their only other living predators. Then they’ll come back stronger.”
“Well, vacuum every room in the house then!” (for goodness sake man, they’re just spiders!)
But as he told me more, I became more worried. Hobos apparently are not good climbers. But our mattress is still on the floor! There was nothing I could do about it while I was enjoying my vacation. So I put it out of my mind and tried to trust the man to take care of it.
September came and went, uneventfully. I never saw any spiders…but it was incentive to keep things properly dusted and de-cluttered. Apparently Hobos love to live in piles of clothes. Today is October 1st. And today, as I was chillin’ on the couch watching Meerkat Manor ( a disturbingly violent animal documentary) my daughter (who was standing in front facing my direction) got a queer look on her face. “Come out here little spider!” she beguiled.
That’s when I decided to peer over my shoulder…just in case.
There was the biggest spider I’ve ever seen in my life!!! And as I screamed, it backed away and I hoped it wasn’t lost forever. I got out my weapon of choice, the vacuum. But as I pulled the couch away from the wall the arachnid had seemingly disappeared. After much swooshing with my weapon and tugging of the slip cover…it appeared again! My mind hadn’t played any tricks on me, it was even bigger than I thought the first time!
And that’s when I sucked it up! I kept the vacuum running for a few minutes of good measure. I just knew that spider would come back out if I didn’t. When I pulled out the cannister and looked inside I could see it kicking. I couldn’t help it. I had to scoop it out and put it in a jar. It was just to awesome of a creature not to show it off.
So now it sits in a jar on my shelf in the living room. I don’t think it really survived the suction. It’s not moving anymore.
Mr. Good came home and confirmed that it was indeed a Hobo. So the war must rage on my friends. Until next time!
I swear this is ACTUAL SIZE! PEOPLE!
updated two hours after original post…Kathryn stopped by to drop off my laundry, don’t ask why she had my laundry, but she pointed out a “huge spider on the wall” it was another Hobo. Yes, they’re trying to infiltrate.
Good Enough
