Good Enough

It is 3:18am here in the Northwest, and I cannot sleep.

This could very well be my last chance to sleep for a solid 4 hours for the next year of my life…but instead of sleeping, I’m sitting here, waisting time. I’m not even trying to be productive. The kitchen could use a final clean, my bag could be packed, I could shave my legs in a nice warm bath…

But instead I’m just sitting here. Daydreaming. Actually nightdreaming technically. It is dark outside, which makes it officially night, according to my kidlets.

In a few hours I will be anticipating a phone call, telling me I can come in and start the process of having this not so wee one I’ve been carrying for the last 40 weeks.

It’s been a long 40 weeks. Of course, I don’t have to tell you all that. You’ve been reading. Or you’ve stopped reading, because you just couldn’t handle the ramblings of an emotional pregnant woman.

I’m excited to meet this new life. My mind is already bent on it. Perhaps that is why I’ve been so utterly bored for the past few weeks. I’m ready for phase 2. I’m ready to hold, and feed, and cuddle and change.

I’m ready for the whirlwind that will be four children under one small roof…

I’m ready to be active again. To run, wrestle, jump, dance, and especially stretch out on my belly.  I miss yoga.

I’m apprehensive, life is always such a miracle, and I know it happens everyday, but there are so many things that go wrong as well. I want everything to flow perfectly.

I look at Mr.Good in awe. He looks so young. He just turned 31 on Saturday, (not that that isn’t young,) I’m ten months older, but I feel like it was only yesterday that we were pregnant with our oldest. He’s 7 now. It’s gone by in a blink.

I remember a night much like this 7 years and 2 months ago, when my water broke. Mr.Good and I were standing in the bathroom laughing, wondering if it was really happening. No contractions came but my bag leaked all night. I stayed up watching TV and he went to bed. He’s always been able to sleep through the excitement. I don’t get it.

I’ve never been able to sleep through anything…except movies…anyway, 3 more hours and I’ll be expecting a phone call telling me to come in. So maybe I should try to close my eyes for awhile?

Goodnight all. 

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