Good Enough

So tonight my sweet friends are throwing me a shower…I have mixed feelings.

I love spending time with my friends, I love any reason to celebrate, and I believe that every child should have it’s own welcoming, in some way.

But contrary to my younger years, I do not like being the center of attention. I don’t like people feeling obligated that they need to buy me a present (especially with child #4) and it’s most embarrassing when I have to sit in front of everyone and open those presents.

This week my friends have been asking me what I need…I don’t know what to tell them. I do have needs for this baby, but not exactly the type of trinkets you expect to arrive at a baby shower. I’m horrible at telling people what I need.

Hence the beauty of the Internet. I can type away and pretend no one that is coming reads my blog and I can put this out there…and if you are coming, pretend you didn’t read this, and never mention it to me. It’s much funner to blog in anonymity.

I need my house deep cleaned and organized…(something I would never want people besides family to experience.)

I need a breast pump…(again not exactly something I want the group too purchase.)

I want my husband to finish the loft bed he’s building and I need to reorganize the kids rooms.

I want a rocking chair. One of those big, cushy, Pottery Barn style pick your fabric, fabulous rocking chairs…I’m embarrassed to admit it. It sounds so materialistic to me.

But it’s my FOURTH CHILD! Can I have something that will last? I envision many years to come cuddling on such a chair.

A girl can dream.

I realize I’m sounding SO ungrateful! My two bestest friends are putting themselves out to throw this party for me, which makes me feel even more inadequate. Really I’m looking forward to hanging out with everyone, and I’m honored they would take time out of busy summer scheduling to hang out with me, but I can’t help but be a little nervous for this.

Update: the shower was, of course, lovely. I feel so lucky to have so many loving friends close by. It wasn’t that awkward, and Kathrynmade sure I got the present thing over first which was good because then I wasn’t stressing the whole party.  My friend Kati made so much food (she said she was only cooking for one afternoon but it would have taken me at least 2 days to do what she did.)  I could go on about how fun and sweet and relaxed everyone was, but you knew it was going to be that way didn’t you? Anyway, thanks,  I’m touched and it was so much fun.

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