So what is a woman to do that finds herself with child…and has already been stressing over getting her other three children some coverage?
She pulls herself together, that’s what she does. She swallows her pride and her innate tendency to procrastinate.
She gathers all the documents and information that she thinks they could possibly want.
She drives to the closest State office. She gathers her youngest two and marches in. She tries not to notice the people sitting around the waiting area, she doesn’t want to know what they’re thinking. The lady at the counter says she brought the wrong papers. “Your in the wrong place.” the lady says.
It’s all she can do to keep from crying. She knew this would happen.
“Where can I go to turn these in?”
“Here’s the number.” Says the lady.
Defeated she takes her children back outside. She buckles them in. She tries to swallow the lump building in her throat. She breathes. Then she calls the number on the post-it the lady wrote down. After a brief conversation with a helpful woman, she is advised to sign up for a different kind of state funded insurance. This would bring coverage for her growing family in a more timely manner.
So what should she do? Go home, print out more forms, come back another day? No. She was in fighting mode. She wanted to get this taken care of in the most efficient manner possible. She was already at the building. She may as well go back in and demand some help. Why didn’t she deserve some help and kindness? Obviously all those people already sitting in the waiting area had more backbone. They were staying put until their troubles were to be addressed.
She felt somewhat entitled. Her husband had always paid their taxes. She volunteered in the community. She regulary gave money to local charities. She told herself there was no reason to feel ashamed. She needed this for herself and her children now. There was no room for pride here.
So she took her children back inside. She went back to the counter where a kind older man stood. “Here is my situation” she said as she tried to control the quiver in her voice. “Can’t you help me? Can you show me what to do? I promised myself I wouldn’t leave here without taking care of this.”
“You must go see the nurse. You must take a pregnancy test. Here is the paperwork. You can come back and see me when you’re done.” He said.
Back to the room they trudged. The children were exuberant. This was a great adventure for them. Into a little room with the nurse. She was old and grey, her skin was dark and her voice was gentle. This nurse had much experience with hormonal women. “What are you’re plans with this pregnancy?” the nurse asked. “Do you plan to terminate it?”
“No!” She almost shouted. But she realized many women did this. They had unexpected pregnancies and came in to seek this cruel form of birth control. “This baby is wanted.” She stated. “We have plenty of money to feed,clothe, and shelter our children. We just can’t afford the medical expense.”
She could guess what the nurse, as well as many others would think of this. Perhaps no more children should be had by families that rely on the state to cover medical costs? Isn’t three enough? She could see their point, their thought process. She couldn’t keep the tears from falling from her eyes. Was it selfish of her to want a bigger family when she was already blessed with three beautiful healthy children? She couldn’t help feeling slightly ashamed, and humiliated here in this small office where many women had come before her. But she tried to remember that someday they would be able to afford their own health care. The business was growing. Her husband was a hard worker. “Someday” she thought, “I won’t have to go through this.”
The pregnancy test was of course positive. The nurse kindly shooed them out of her office. Handing her the forms.
She took herself back to the front desk asking for further instructions.
Today she sits with a packet in her hand ready to take to the post-office. Her husband worked on it for three hours the previous night. Providing documents and receipts. She will take it in very soon and send it back to be processed with all the other applications. When it leaves her hands she will be relieved. She did what she could. Now she can only hope that soon she will receive a coupon saying she can go see a real doctor. And maybe she can take her 2 year old in for immunizations he is 1 year overdue for. And maybe every time her children get sick she won’t have to pray it doesn’t turn into infection. Maybe the pressure of diagnosing her children and wondering if they’re sick enough for a $73 doctor’s visit will be taken off of her shoulders for the next year.
For now she will turn in the papers, and then she will pray.
Good Enough
