Good Enough

There’s been a lot of chit chat about neighbors lately…it’s a subject that is about as controversial as you’ll see me get.

 We live on a large pice of land that feels like an island. Ours was built in the beginning of time and housing developments sprung up around it. So I can see the back yards of about ten properties from my solitary back porch…

 We moved to this part of town in October. I really had the impression that the neighbors never used their backyards, although there were clues of the backyards seeing better days. In one there is an abandoned children’s fort…in another there is a small plastic basketball hoop. But from October till July I have never seen any living thing so much as set foot into those backyards save one small white dog who is only let out to do his business. Upon finishing he immediately runs back inside.  I started to take it a little personally. We do have the best sledding hill in our yard, so we were out there all winter. No one ever approached us to join in the fun. During the three weeks of nice weather we’ve had this “summer” we bust out a homemade slip-in-slide that goes all the way down the hill.

One night prior to the 4th of July I heard strange noises and music coming from the vicinity of our backyard…as I look over my balcony I came to the strange realization that we really do have nieghbors. They were there, in the flesh, behaving like human beings. Bar-b-queing. having friends over, listening to music. Granted this meant I would have to cover up a little more when I walked outside, if this was going to be a regular summertime occurrence. The next Sunday the people directly behind us were out at 8 am! I was a little shocked as I walked outside to let the dog out in my skivvies! I didn’t know they had children! In this case it seems to be A CHILD. That they only let out once a year, on his birthday, to play a little t-ball. Honestly, that’s the only time he’s been let out! I know! We’re out there rain, snow, or the less frequent shiny day. And the other people with the pre-fourth of July party? We’ve never seen them since that day.

Granted we live in the not-so-sunny Northwest, and this year has been abnormally rainy. When we had a short period of sunbursts I could hear the sounds of families actually using their yards, and playing outside till it got dark, which in these parts is around 10 at night. But that was short lived. The rain has come back and the families have all retreated to their caves. I don’t know how they do it.  I need to be outside…and I’m learning to enjoy the rain. When it rains here in the summer, it’s not cold, so we go and sit on our covered porch and watch the kids playing in the downpours. It’s quite refreshing. 

Here’s the thing…I kind of like it this way. I like that I don’t know my neighbors, that I don’t see them, and that they don’t use their backyards. Maybe I want to be able to walk around sans the clothing? I’m just saying…Then again maybe I’ve been jilted by the experience of living in Town-homes, where we all live so close together…and I kept my blinds closed in the hopes no one would know how I TRULY kept house. In Town-homes, you never know when someone will “drop by” and there is always those children you just don’t want your kids to play with. Since you can’t single them out and look rude, it’s easier not to play with any of the neighborhood children, and just outsource for friends.

That’s my philosophy in all things people. I made a comment on Kathryn’s blog that I can’t choose my neighbors, but I can choose my friends…and what if I unknowingly made friends with a pyscho neighbor lady and then I couldn’t get rid of her? You all know what I’m talking about and have had those experiences.

One of my friends made a comment that “you can never be ‘best friends’ with a neighbor.” I pondered that and asked her why. She replied that the neighbor would see all your comings and goings, and it would be hard to have a get-together without them, as there would be hurt feelings.  I suddenly realized what she was trying to say and wondered if I’d ever been the neighbor that was hard to shake?

After all, I am the friend that will drop by un-anounced on a Sunday afternoon because we were bored (sorry Katie.) I have even walked in on some family parties (yes Jen I’m talking about yours.)  So if I have ever been that kind of neighbor, I apologize. Please put me in my place.

 Neighbors to have their place…in times of emergency I would like to know that my neighbors were kind and ready to help out if something horrible happened. But that’s about where it ends for me. Call me a snob, call me paranoid…I don’t care…I just look at myself as “sadder, yet wiser.”  And anyway, it won’t be long now before we’re in the throws of winter again. (Sad but true.) And every man woman and child will crawl back into their dwelling, and we won’t open the windows again until next July.

Where do you stand with your neighbors?
 

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