Good Enough

So before I even OPEN this book that is laying on my couch…that half the world is obsessed with, and so I grudgingly admit that I am obsessed as well…as you shall see when MY story unfolds…

We actually had a REAL date tonight. My sweet man turned 30 last week. On his birthday I was puking, along with 2 of our children. He kindly took care of us. So tonight I pleaded with the family to babysit.  We had dinner, a movie, and all night to wait in line for this book.

We went, we ate, we saw a lame movie, and then got in our car and rounded the corner to the book store. We spied the line, we saw the weirdo’s. We decided to try our luck at Safeway. We were about 15 minutes away. We called. They said “we close our doors at 1:00 am” We looked at the cell phone clock…8 minutes. “No problem” said my husband. 

With ninja like reflexes he drove through the heavily wooded forest to the outskirts of town, where the Safeway stood waiting…lights blazing and doors…LOCKED!

“What! IT’s 12:58! 12:58!” I screamed meniacly, pounding on the glass doors. I caught a glimpse of myself in the store monitor. Not pretty. I could see the small town newspaper headline. “Crazed Harry Potter Fan Throws a Fit!” I called the store.

And annoyingly calm voice answered the phone. The very same annoyingly calm voice that told us to hurry because the doors closed promptly at 1am. “You said 1!” I cried, trying to sound as intimidating as possible. “You said to be here before 1 and we were here at 12:58. You closed early.”

“I’m sorry but once the doors close, only the night manager can open them again.”

“Where is the night manager? Let me talk to her.”

“She’s stocking the floor right now. Our tills are closed.”

“I used to work at Safeway. I know she can open the doors. I know she can open the tills.” The bantering went on like this for what seemed like an eternity.

This is what I hear her say in a hushed voice away from the phone…”she’s still outside…she’s very angry.”

“YOU’RE RIGHT I’M ANGRY! THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT! AND YOU CLOSED EARLY!!”

“We are open at 5am and we have plenty of books.”

“We don’t want them at 5 am…we want them now! It’s my husband’s 30 birthday…we have three little kids at home. We RARELY get a babysitter. We rushed here from the other side of town instead of staying at that book store…waiting in line…with the TRUE fans and all because YOU said you closed at 1am. ”

“I’m really sorry.”

“Yeah, not as sorry as I am. I don’t think I will be able to patronize your establishment again. And I shall slander your name ACROSS the blogosphere to my WHOLE 10 READERS! YOU’LL NEVER WORK IN THIS SMALL TOWN AGAIN.  Of course I’ll shop here only if I REALLY need something. Goodbye! Not even GOOD! Just BYE!”

Boy did I let her have it.

Why do I have a book you’re wondering? Because we drove back up through the dense forrest and saw a light shining through the trees in the form of a Quality Food Center. They welcomed me in with open arms, dried my tears, handed me TWO copies of the book so my sweetie and I wouldn’t fight over them, and directed me to the diapers.

I loved them.

HAPPY READING EVERYBODY!

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